It’s been almost a month since my last post, in the tide of my birthday. It’s been a harder season, making me want to retreat in silence. Nonetheless, I don’t want to miss the opportunity and accountability this blog provides (the reason for its creation), and I feel now able to bring my thoughts to the keyboard once more.
Be patient, brothers, until the Lord’s coming. Think of a farmer: how patiently he waits for the precious fruit of the ground until it has had the autumn rains and the spring rains! You too have to be patient; do not lose heart, because the Lord’s coming will be soon. The Judge is already to be seen waiting at the gates. – James 5:7-8,9
Today’s Vespers reading speaks of the need to wait patiently, encouraged by the Lord’s closeness and active, far-seeing presence in our lives. The author links the image of the farmer who knows the planted soil needs the autumn and spring rains before harvest comes, to the Lord’s doing. I reflect on the winter rains of late, and I take heart in realising that God knows what I need to grow into a beautiful harvest.
A confessor also pointed me towards the image of God as the potter of our lives, and we are clay to be moulded according to His plans. I feel I’m doubly invited to realise I am being shaped into His “original” (from the confessor’s words) work.
I rejoice in these and more reminders I received to see things through the eyes of faith. I am called to persevere and to trust. To trust in the Lord’s faithful love and not fall for the wiles of the evil one, wanting to trap me in shame, fear and desolation.
Open my eyes, Lord, to see Your work in my life. Help me to trust and to believe in Your love for me. Give me the strength to persevere on the path to healing. Help me to see where I am being lied to again and again; rewrite my narrative, reshape my life. Amen.
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