How difficult it is to be honest with God when we are suffering. To bring Him exactly what is bothering us and hurting us. To face – with Him – what is causing agitation within.
I find comfort in turning tonight to the holy Virgins, whose love for Christ was pure and unstained, even unto death. What most attracts me to my favourite saints is that purity. The undivided love and commitment to God and His cause. Their love is a love that I deeply aspire to imitate, and one that I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to match.
“God would never inspire me with desires which cannot be realized;
Saint Therese
so in spite of my littleness, I can hope to be a saint.”
This is something that sometimes gets me down, as I reflect on my wounds and my mistakes. Nevertheless, I remember Saint Therese’s quote above, and I will strive tonight to adopt her confidence (once again).
Despite my misery and failings, I can hope that God will open up ways for me to realise my deepest aspirations. It might not involve undoing the past, but something only He can do in me, as He places such longings in my heart.
It is not easy to let go, and, as they say, let God. I shall nonetheless try again tonight and put my trust in the Lord.
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