For many years, relational suffering has been part of my psychological and spiritual growth journey. I still have ways to go to be where I’d rather be, and I can see how the Lord has used such difficulties to invite me to be purified and pruned by their means.
Setbacks in relationships can be extremely painful to reckon with. Gaps in communication, silences, and difficulties in voicing one’s needs can also add to the trial.
Over the years, I have experienced both the need to distance myself from relationships to allow myself to move on and people not continuing to speak with me, sometimes with no apparent reason. I realised I should have behaved better, and have not adequately sought to make amends – although there is always hope and something that can be done.
No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.
Hebrews 12:11
Anniversaries, birthdays, and festivities like Christmas often heighten that sense of dissatisfaction or loss. Unvoiced Expectations, and the self-debating on reaching out to someone can feel very painful.
While in the past I have been known to react emotionally over relationships, in recent years I have tried to lean into that discomfort more and allow the Lord to work in me through the fire. The Lord has been patient.
I’m also realising that personal needs are important, and to be able to recognise them is equally crucial. Have I been let down here? Am I mourning? Do I need to let go? The other person may not realise or mean anything, yet the Lord might use that to cultivate our growth.
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