Aut non licet mihi quod volo, facere?
Matthew 20:15
Do I not want to consider myself of the Lord? Do I not want to belong to Him entirely, to somehow devote my life to His service? Then, I should take these words to heart. Can I not do what I want with what is mine?
In this parable, the Lord teaches about an owner of a vineyard who goes out at various intervals throughout the day looking for workers. I love how he goes out and asks each one – why are you sitting idle? why are you not working? He calls them out into His vineyard, so they can use they talents and earn a living.
Similarly, the Lord calls out of our darkness and idleness, into the splendour of His life (ref. 1 Peter 2:9), in the Church, where we can receive and give His love. Live fulfilling lives and, ultimately, reach Home in Heaven.
Lord, if you are to treat me as your own, then I must let you do with me as you wish.
Perhaps you wish me to wait, to feel pressed own and desolate at times. Do with me as you wish.
Help me to trust you. To see a mark of deep belonging in your holy arrangements. Let me rejoice that I am in your vineyard, despite often feeling like I’m sitting on sideline of life.
Equally, call me ever deeper into the vineyard; those areas where I’m still sitting idle, in need of your persevering call.